Everyone is Unique

    When I became the grandmother of a child on the autism spectrum I learned that "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." This oft-repeated quote is attributed to Dr. Stephen Shore, an autism advocate who is on the spectrum himself. It is important to be aware that we can't lump all autistic people into the same category. But I would like to add: if you have met one human being, you have met one unique human being." 

    Every human being is a distinct individual unlike any other. And yet, we humans love to lump people together using stereotypes, labels, and typecasting to dehumanize those outside of our own sphere. 

    One example of typecasting is the way many White Americans see African Americans as if they were all alike and all inferior human beings. I grew up in a small Long Island community where there was only one Black family. This family included a girl my age who I remember coming to my house to play and who I invited to my house for birthday parties. I don't remember treating her any differently than I did my other friends who were Jewish, Catholic, Mormon, and Protestant. 

    One of my best friends in college was an African American woman whose Black friends called her an "Oreo." I don't know if this label hurt her feelings, but it did imply that these friends did not acknowledge the individual personality of this woman who just happened to have some interests in common with her White housemates.

 

   After I graduated from college I moved to Washington, D.C. where I worked at an accounting school. Many of the students had come from Nigeria. One of these Nigerian men asked me if I'd like to go with him to a park on a Saturday afternoon. I don't recall what park it was because we never got there. When he picked me up he said he'd decided to take me to his apartment instead. If I hadn't been such a naive, young woman, I would have told him to let me out of the car immediately. I didn't, and I went to his apartment where we danced and he pressed an unwanted kiss on my lips. I told him I wanted to go home and he said, "Before I take you home I want you to do something for me." I asked what that was and he said, "Come on, we aren't children." Oh dear, he had finally broken through my naivety. "Take me home now!" I insisted, and thankfully he did. 

    Back at the office I took this man's application out of the files and saw that he was married. When he called me at work I told him about my discovery. He denied that he was married and asked me to go out with him again! When I refused his invitation he said, "I know you won't go out with me because I'm Black." If that was true, why did I go out with him in the first place? No, it was because as a unique individual he was a despicable person. Okay, I'm sure he had some good qualities, but he did not share them with me on that sunny afternoon when he took me to his dark apartment instead of to the park as he'd promised. 

    Several years later, my husband and I were living in Birmingham, Alabama where he was enrolled in the university's surgeon's assistant program. While we were there we befriended a couple who invited us for dinner at their home. We enjoyed their company and the antics of their clever dog, so we invited them to our apartment. I don't recall the subject of our after-dinner conversation when the wife said, "If you hate niggers the way we do . . . ." I'm sure Mark's and my mouths dropped open at that point and it was most likely the end of the conversation and the end of the visit. I confess that we labeled them "racists" even though they had some positive qualities. I think the difference is that we didn't decide to hate them because of this one flaw. We would never say that "all racists are alike." But knowing this about them made it impossible to continue our friendship. 

    When Mark and I first decided to move from Boston to Birmingham I was filled with trepidation, my only knowledge of Alabama being its violent civil rights history and the report from a childhood pen pal about the separate water fountains for Blacks and Whites. The couple with bigoted leanings fit the stereotype I had in mind, but during our two years in Birmingham we met a wide range of unique and wonderful individuals, some of whom we still call friends 45 years later. 

    I have shared these stories as a few examples and reminders of why we should never stereotype a person because of their race, religion, political party, or any other group they might belong to. If we can remember that every single person is as unique as the fingerprints on their hands, we will be doing our part to build bridges of oneness in the world. 

For another take on this subject, please check out: Is it Fair to Assign an Identity to Someone Else?

Celebration of Love

   

Valentine's Day is celebrated throughout the month of February with red roses, hearts, and chocolates.  Traditionally it is the celebration of romantic love, but children exchange valentines at school, and many people send cards to family and friends. This year I decorated with symbols of every kind of love!

    Many years ago, Mark spent ten days in the Dominican Republic as a medical missionary. While he was there he bought the statue of a man and woman kissing. Obviously, that is my symbol of romantic love, but it also represents the love of art. 

    The angel playing a violin represents divine love as well as the love of music. The heart-shaped earth symbolizes love for the entire world. 

    On the tree hangs a heart ornament with two deer representing love for the animal world. The snowflake represents water and the uniqueness of all the people and things we love. The cardinal reminds us of our love of birds. Cardinals are also thought of as messengers from heaven, symbolizing our loved ones in spirit. 

    The family tree represents familial love. It was a gift from my grandmother when she was alive and my children were little. The crystal and the candle symbolize the divine light which connects everyone and everything in love and oneness. 

    This year, on Valentine's Day, let's all open our hearts to the many kinds of love that include the whole world - and beyond. Opening our hearts to everyone and everything will help to usher in the Era of Peace that humanity longs for.

Avalanche of Love

Time to Topple the Pyramid

  
                                        

    Roosting in splendor on the uppermost tier of the pyramid of life are the elite who have benefited materially from humanity's mistaken separation from Divine Love and from one another. From this vantage point they can look down on the rest of the world, where those dwelling on the lowest tiers struggle to survive, and those in the middle work hard to maintain varying levels of comfort. Throughout history, those dwelling on the middle and lower tiers have supported the extravagant lifestyle of those on the top. This arrangement is sometimes known as “dualism,” as opposed to the unity that Love desires for humanity.

    The beneficiaries of dualism have gone by many names and labels. At the very tippy top there are the pharaohs, kings and queens, emperors and empresses, czars and czarinas, chiefs, dictators and popes. Not too far below them are the lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses, counts and countesses; bishops, presidents and other government leaders - CEOs. In ancient times, the Egyptian pharaohs were worshiped as gods with absolute power, who claimed ownership of everyone and everything in Egypt. In China, the Mandate of Heaven ensured that the gods would bless the authority of a just ruler; and his subjects believed that this blessing should include an opulent lifestyle.

    The Hebrews believed that God had created the lineage of kings that ruled over Israel. Solomon, who ascended to the throne upon the death of his father, King David, amassed a vast amount of wealth during his reign. He took 700 wives and 300 concubines, who were treated more like possessions than the cherished help-mates they might have been if each had been allowed a single husband! Solomon used slave labor for his many building ventures, including the palace that took 13 years to construct; and he placed heavy taxes on his people in order to support his projects. If he had been an instrument of Love, rather than a king anointed by a priest of the misconceived jealous Jehovah, he would have recognized his oneness with all other people, including those he had treated as slaves.

    When Jesus came into the world to teach people about Love, Israel was under rule of the Romans who worshiped their emperor as a god. Neither the Romans nor the Jews could fathom a government ruled by an ordinary person. Jesus never referred to a connection between God and kings. However, he did say: “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, and render unto God what is God’s” (Mark 12:17). Early church scholars understood this to mean that Christians should submit to worldly rulers as long as they were not being asked to defy God’s commandments. This interpretation would sanction the oppression of vassals and citizens by Christian emperors and kings for hundreds of years, and Love’s angels would weep as they witnessed the evils that took place under the guise of religion.

    I think the angels would have wondered: “Why is it so difficult for people to understand that what belongs to Caesar are the riches of the world, and what belongs to God is the spiritual power that comes with divine creativity, unconditional love, and the knowledge that all are One?” Some of the men who wrote the doctrines that would tell Christians what to believe were quite aware that Jesus wanted people to discover the divine power that is available to all of us. These men remained beloved children of Divine Spirit, even though they preferred not to claim this birthright. To do so would be to recognize that all men and women shared the same heritage, and where would be the fun in that? They enjoyed the luxuries of material wealth and the feeling of power they got by dominating the masses, so they manipulated Love’s messages in order to maintain their lofty positions.

    It was to the advantage of these early church fathers to elevate Jesus to the same level as the Father God who remained separate and inaccessible to the masses. They claimed that the Holy Spirit inspired the twelve disciples of Jesus to write the Apostles’ Creed; and with this assertion, the decree that Jesus is God’s only son was made infallible. After all, no one can argue with the Holy Spirit!

    In the fourth century A.D., the Roman Emperor Constantine issued an edict that granted religious tolerance of Christians throughout the empire. “How wonderful!” the angels probably cried. “If only Constantine understood that Christianity should be based on Jesus’ teachings about love, compassion, and forgiveness. Then his generous law would be a real gift to the world!”

    As a general, Constantine led thousands in bloody battles, and spread the Christian religion by brandishing the sword rather than following Jesus' commandment to preach and heal in his name. Constantine also collected from the far reaches of his empire to Nicaea, about 300 bishops who collaborated on a creed that was devised more from their combined heads than from their hearts. Like the Apostles’ Creed, the Nicene Creed says nothing about the life and teachings of Jesus, or his plea to the human race to show more love and mercy to one another.

    Jesus offered forgiveness to the woman that the Pharisees and teachers of the Hebrew law brought to him for judgment after catching her in the act of adultery. According to the ancient laws, she should have been stoned to death. But Jesus said to them: “Let any one of you who is without sin, be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7b). Constantine was apparently not familiar with this verse because his laws required that any girl who ran away with her lover would be burned alive. Any chaperone that assisted in an elopement would have molten lead poured into her mouth.

     The angels would have reached out to Constantine’s soul, to make him feel the effects of this evil. If Constantine could experience the oneness between himself and others that Jesus had encouraged, he would have suffered the agony that was inflicted on his victims. But the barrier between his mind and his soul was so strong the angels could not penetrate it.

    Constantine was a harsh ruler in other areas of government, including the tax policy that required city dwellers to pay a tax in gold or silver every four years. Sometimes parents sold their children into slavery or prostitution to avoid the beatings or torture that tax evaders received. The angels just couldn’t believe that this emperor was largely responsible for a creed that would construct a cage around Christian belief, making heretics of anyone who did not accept it. Never-the-less, Constantine has been venerated as a saint by the Eastern Orthodox Church, and greatly revered by Roman Catholics. He is remembered for ending the persecution of Christians and for spreading Christianity throughout the Roman Empire.

    As their religious allegiance morphed from paganism into Christianity, the beneficiaries of dualism managed to keep themselves in lofty places by remaining separate from Love and Love’s creation. They wove heavy veils around their souls with the lies they told about Jesus and his teachings. Many Christians believed these lies, or feared the punishment of their rulers, and so they wove similar veils around their own souls, thus closing themselves off from any feelings of compassion they may have had for people who were different or less fortunate than they were.

The above is a chapter from my book, The World According to Love. And today, February 2, 2023, I add that the time has come for all of us in the middle and at the bottom of the pyramid to recognize our oneness, to love and respect one another, and expose the lies that the capstone has been using to keep us divided for thousands of years. Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with us NOW.

Everyone's Favorite Chair

                                         

    You are probably familiar with the terms, "everyday sacred" and "be here now." That is what the favorite chair is about. Many homes have a favorite chair - where the home dweller sits with a cup of coffee in the morning, to read a devotional and contemplate plans for the day. Then to sit with a cup of tea in the afternoon, to relax and focus on "being in the now." In the evening, with a glass of wine, to share our thoughts with a loved one - who wasn't so fortunate to get the favorite chair for our conversation! 

    Several years ago we replaced an old wing chair with this much more comfortable polka-dot recliner. I chose this upholstery because I was ready to add some pizazz to our old-fashioned country decor. It immediately became the favorite chair for everyone in the family and every visitor to our home. 

    Back when the chair was new, our daughter and her family lived with us for a few months while they were in transition. Our grandson, who is on the autism spectrum, was three years old at the time. He loved to sit in the polka-dot chair. When his other grandparents came to visit, his paternal grandfather sat in the recliner. Our nonverbal grandson took his grandfather by the hand and led him away from the chair. Grandpa thought that he was being taken to a place of interest, so he followed. But as soon as Grandpa had been led out of the living room our clever little boy ran back and climbed into the chair. 

    Of course we brought the favorite chair with us when we moved from New York to Wisconsin - to be closer to this clever little boy and his precious sister. I think of the chair as a sacred spot because it is so well-loved. Because Mark sits there every morning to transfer his deepest thoughts onto paper. Because I sit there to read the books that connect me to the inner world of spirit and imagination. Because it offers comfort and rest whenever we need it. 

    When you sit in your favorite chair, you can imagine people everywhere, relaxing in their chairs, too. Sometimes we can build bridges just by enjoying life's simple gifts the same way our world neighbors do.  

I would love it if my readers would post photos of their favorite chair!

Getting to Know Lesbians

 

    I had my first encounter with lesbians in 1976 when I entered the Women's Literature program at Goddard-Cambridge School for Social Change. I'm sure I had met lesbians in high school and college, but back then most lesbians were still "in the closet." I had no idea what I was getting into when I signed up to share a co-op house with five other women. Four of them were lesbian separatists, and the fifth called herself a "Woman-Identified-Woman." I'm not sure what that meant, except that she sided with the lesbians when they allied against me because my boyfriend (now husband) was defiling the house with his male energy.

    Looking back, I think it's a shame that I hadn't met any non-separatist lesbians prior to this experience. One of them thought it was acceptable to eat my food because she was contributing "good energy" to the household, and one thought it was okay to steal Mark's favorite shirts since he was infringing on her space. The whole group called me into a meeting where I was told that they would all leave the house, sticking me with the rent and utility bills, unless I left and took Mark with me. The women were all holding hands for support while I sat alone as if I were on trial. 

    My co-op mates did not want any male energy in the house, so Mark and I found our own apartment and soon afterward got married. I was puzzled by the actions of the lesbian separatists, two of whom had young sons. I wondered how they would found an all-female society without their little boys. One of them told me that men have always been self-centered and now it was their turn. 

    Many years later, in my work as a celebrant, I performed weddings and a baby naming for some lovely lesbian couples. I learned that most lesbians do not hate men and are perfectly willing to share the planet with males as long as they treat women with respect.  

    If we are to build bridges of oneness with everyone on the planet, we must learn to cooperate with one another rather than separate ourselves from those who have oppressed us. I realize now that the women I roomed with in 1976 had all been hurt by men and our patriarchal society. It didn't occur to them to seek healing and look for ways to change society without expunging half the population. I don't know where these women are now, but I hope that they have discovered that they can be their highest selves while co-existing with males - and maybe even befriending a few men. 

Why Am I Here? by guest writer, Mark VanLaeys

    I've been blessed with a number of days where the answer was not only suggested, 

but placed right in my hands.  One of the more  dramatic experiences happened 

when I was working as a relatively new ER physician assistant in Upstate NY.  

As I was charting on one patient, I heard over the hospital speakers: "CODE BLUE - 

Radiology."  As I stood up, I saw an X-Ray tech running down the hall toward us.  

Drooped over his arm was a completely lifeless two-week-old baby boy! 

I tipped his head back, but still no breath, no pulse, no heart sounds. I started 

thumb compressions as the ER doctor located a newborn-sized face mask.  With  

my hands squeezing his tiny chest, that little guy not only came back to life, but 

let out a glorious wail!  And that day I knew why I was here. 

      Some special days we're just blessed with an opportunity to make a 

tangible difference in someone's life.   First responders, teachers, scientists, 

plumbers, and even politicians* may benefit others all day long, but the best of

 them just do their fine work noiselessly, making the world a better place, and 

that's  A GREAT REASON TO BE HERE!

*Counselors, electricians, parents, laborers, waitresses, CPR instructors, etc.  - 

you get the idea. 

For My Russian Friends

     I have a lot of friends in Russia. I do not know their names or anything about them, but people from Russia continue to look at this blog, and I like to think it is because they want to build bridges of oneness with their neighbors around the world. 

    I made this arrangement to display some pieces made by Russian artisans and a book based on a Russian folktale. My granddaughter loves this story and another book that I gave her called Rechenka's Eggs. Russian culture is rich in folklore, literature, art, and dance. I have a niece who went to The Boris Shchukin Theatre Institute  in Moscow to study drama. I also have a friend whose daughter worked at Anglo-American School of St. Petersburg and brought back a Russian husband! I feel that I have many connections to Russia even though I have never been there myself. 

    I grew up hearing that the Soviet Union was an enemy of the United States. Even as a child I knew this did not mean that the Russian people were our enemy - only that our country's leaders were at odds with one another. As a young teenager I wrote a letter to the editor about the Space Race and how it would make more sense for Americans and Soviets to work together on space exploration. During the Nuclear Arms Race in the early 1980s, Mark and I worked with Peace Links and other peace organizations to end that insanity. We saved our money for a trip to the Soviet Union, hoping that we could build bridges of peace by meeting some Russian people. We signed up for a Russian class at the University of East Tennessee in the spring of 1983. We didn't get very far since we had to start by learning an entirely new alphabet!

    On September 1, 1983,  Korean Air Lines Flight 007, was shot down by a Soviet Sukhoi Su-15 interceptor on its flight from New York City to Seoul via Anchorage, Alaska. Owing to a navigational mistake made by the crew, the airliner had drifted from its original planned route and flew through Soviet prohibited airspace. All 269 passengers and crew aboard were killed, tensions between the Soviet Union and the United States soared to greater heights, and our travel plans were squelched. Mark and I took a bouquet of flowers to our travel agent and used the money we had saved to buy a piano. 

    I believe that Russia is experiencing a spiritual awakening. As more and more people open themselves to their highest light, peace and harmony will come to Russia. I am praying for you, my dear Russian friends, that you will be at peace with your neighbors, and within yourselves.