Mothers and Daughters

   

       Mothers everywhere wish they could be closer to their daughters as they grow up, move away, and start families of their own. Some mothers are fortunate to have their daughters live nearby so they can see each other often, but sometimes the geographical proximity cannot make up for the emotional distance between mother and daughter. Sometimes mothers and daughters share common interests and values and sometimes they must make a conscious effort to construct bridges between each other because their lifestyles are so different.  

       My daughter and I are closer emotionally than my mother and I were, even though we are different in more ways than I would like. Vera lives in Wisconsin, hundreds of miles from my home in New York. I was a stay-at-home mother while she is a busy school psychologist. We enjoy different kinds of music, movies, and books. I maintain this blog on the spiritual meaning of Oneness, while she creates make-up tutorials under her name, Vera Lynn.

       My husband and I have always supported Vera's creative endeavors which were mainly musical ones when she lived at home. She took piano lessons for many years, played in a bell choir, sang in various choirs, and earned a music scholarship before deciding to switch her major to psychology. 

       Vera has discovered that school psychology is a lot more stressful than she had anticipated, especially when she has a baby to take care of. Vera copes with this stress by creating new make-up looks for herself and her tutorial audience. While I don't think of make-up as an appropriate topic for a spiritual blog, I will say that women all over the globe like to enhance their beauty with cosmetics, so a passion for make-up IS something that connects women who come from different backgrounds. AND, because I, like mothers all over the world, love my daughter and wish to support her passion, I am posting a link to Vera's most recent tutorial. I hope some of you will enjoy it and subscribe to her You Tube channel. 

      Revisiting this post nearly seven years after I wrote it, I realize how much has changed since then. Vera hasn't had the time or interest to play with make-up or create tutorials  in at least six years. Seven years ago Vera was married with one baby boy. Five and a half years ago she gave birth to a daughter and learned that her son has Autism. The family of four moved back to New York so that Mark and I could help with the special needs of our grandson and the family. Then Vera and her husband decided to divorce and move back to Wisconsin where there are more services for children with Autism. Parents of children with special needs require a lot of support and assistance, so Mark and I decided to move to Wisconsin two years ago in order to be "hands-on" grandparents. 

     This post was originally about supporting Vera's creativity. Now we just support her in whatever she needs - usually childcare for one or both of our grandchildren. There have been times when she was so overwhelmed by challenges at work and at home, I wished we could do more to help her. There is really very little the parents of adult children can do to make their lives easier, though. They have to make their own way and learn their own lessons, as hard as it is to watch. 

     I have told Vera that I believe our higher selves choose our life challenges before we are born, in order to learn lessons and grow spiritually. Souls who choose a lot of challenges are brave indeed. Vera is a brave soul who is advancing spiritually as she hurdles one obstacle after another. I am thankful for Vera, for all of the warmth and love she shares with her children, her stepchildren, the school children she works with, and the other people in her life. Vera is so busy, I don't think she has time for the creative outlets she used to enjoy, and we don't get to see each other as often as I'd like. Nevertheless, we "build bridges" between us whenever and however we can. Recently Vera sent me this fabulous flower arrangement, just to thank me for loving her and being a wonderful grandmother. It made me realize that Vera supports me, too, and made me feel appreciated. Thank you, Vera!