Giving Circles

Dining for Women Pot Luck Dinner

Otsego County is home to a great many generous citizens who are always looking for ways to lend a helping hand to people in need. In recent years the concept of giving circles has provided new opportunities for some of these citizens to make a positive difference in the lives of the unfortunate.

A giving circle consists of a group of people, small or large, who get together socially and pool their resources to fund a single charity. Two giving circles in Oneonta are Dining for Women and 100+ Women Who Care Otsego. Both groups came into being as the result of women reading inspirational books. 

In 2010 Eve Rabbiner read Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, by Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn and felt inspired to do something to help women and children who live in extreme poverty in developing countries. Rabbiner contacted some friends who got together and researched ways to educate people about this issue and raise funds for groups that work to make a difference. Rabbiner’s friends became the core committee for the Oneonta chapter of Dining for Women, a national organization that offers a way to meet their goals.

The core committee includes Eve and her husband, Stan Rabbiner, Marilyn Helterline, Janet Potter, Joan Kollgaard, Paul Conway, Kate O'Donnell, and Linda Wilcox. The first event they hosted was a reading from Half the Sky that took place in December 2010 at the Green Toad Bookstore in Oneonta. Twenty-five people joined the core group for this gathering. Participants learned that Dining for Women offers a grant each month to a different program that works to improve the lives of impoverished women and girls in developing countries. Funds for the programs are raised at group dinners where contributors donate money for that month’s grant winner.

The national Dining for Women organization was the brainchild of Marsha Wallace, a former nurse and mother of four from Greenville, SC, who, in the fall of 2002 read an article about a group of friends who met for potluck dinners and collected donations for needy families using the money they would have otherwise spent in restaurants. Wallace and co-founder, Barb Collins, conceived and implemented the idea of Dining for Women which spread like wildfire around the country.

The core committee for the local chapter of Dining for Women decided that since education was one of their goals, they would host public pot-luck dinners for both men and women. These dinners are held at the Oneonta Unitarian-Universalist Society where an educational program is presented after the meal has been shared. The presenter is a local expert on the country or issue addressed by that month’s grant winner. Over the past four years the group has raised about $30,000 for different non-profit organizations.

The grant recipient for November was “Gardens for Health International,” a group that provides agricultural solutions to childhood malnutrition in Rwanda. The guest speaker was Dr. Linda Swift, professor of biology at Hartwick College, who spoke about her work with the Naga tribe in northern Thailand. The work that Dr, Swift and her students do to increase the nutritional intake for Naga children is similar to the work done by Gardens for Health. After a delicious meal and an informative presentation by Dr. Swift, participants passed a basket for donations to help impoverished children in Rwanda.

Rabbiner says: “We have a great planning group. We all share the responsibilities of setting things up and recruiting guest speakers. We realize that individually we can’t change the world, but when people who care about an issue work together they can help make that change happen.”

Another giving circle that gives individuals the opportunity to make a difference by working together is 100+ Women Who Care. This organization was launched in November of 2006 by Karen Dunigan of Jackson, Michigan, as a simple way to raise money efficiently and quickly for local charities. In 2013 Cathy Deleski  of Oneonta read Be the Miracle: 50 Lessons for Making the Possible Impossible by Regina Brett and felt inspired to start a local chapter of 100+ Woman Who Care.

Deleski called her sister, Colleen Andrew, and several friends for a brainstorming meeting. The group, consisting of Deleski, Andrew, Petrea Delberta, Coleen Lewis, and Aida Rogers made plans for a kick-off event to be held July 17, 2013.  Bobbie Lipari-Harlem donated the space and refreshments at the Carriage House Event Center in Oneonta for the gathering which was attended by 30 women.

  

                Each woman attending an event is committed to donating $100 to a local charity. Each participant puts the name of her favorite Otsego County charity in a hat. Three charities are chosen and the women who nominated them give a pitch for their cause. The women then vote for one charity to receive the funds collected at the event. The winner of the first event was The Lord’s Table which received a $3,000 donation. The goal for 100+ Women Who Care is to gather 100 women to donate $10,000 to a single charity.

            Since its inception in 2006, 100+ Women Who Care chapters have been formed all over North America. Chapters in larger cities meet four times a year.  The Otsego County group is meeting once a year to celebrate what they call “Christmas in July.” The second event took place on July 24, 2014 at the B-Side Ballroom which donated space and hors d'oeuvres. This time 40 women attended and raised $4,000 for Family Services.

            The hope is that 100+ Women Who Care Otsego will continue to grow and meet its goal of 100 participants. The next Christmas in July will take place at the B-Side on July 23, 2015 with registration at 5:30 and the one-hour meeting beginning at 6:00. Deleski says: “It’s a great opportunity for women to mingle and network while combining resources to support a good cause.”

            100+ Women Who Care Otsego welcomes women who wish to support charitable organizations in Otsego County. The local chapter of Dining for Women welcomes both men and women to their pot-lucks to socialize, become informed, and support organizations that help impoverished women and children in developing countries. The next meeting of Dining for Women will be held at the Oneonta Unitarian Universalist Society on January 18, 2015 at 1:00 pm. The grant recipient for January is the Collateral Repair Project which helps Iraqi and Syrian refugees in Jordan.

(Originally published in The Oneonta Daily Star, December 6, 2014.)            

The Fight Against Breast Cancer Brings People Together by Emily VanLaeys

Two years ago — Nov. 7, 2012, to be exact — Laura Emmett went to Fox Hospital for the routine mammogram that changed her life. When the technologist came into the exam room to talk to her with the radiologist, she knew something was wrong. The next day, Emmett was seen by her surgeon, who diagnosed her with stage zero breast cancer. 

Stage zero is a non-invasive cancer that involves abnormal cells in the lining of the breast milk duct. It is a very early cancer that is highly treatable, but if left untreated, it can spread into the surrounding breast tissue.

Some patients with stage zero breast cancer are simply encouraged to get regular clinical breast exams and mammograms, or they might be prescribed a hormone therapy medication to help prevent the growth of cancer cells. 

Since Emmett has a family history of breast cancer, her surgeon recommended that she get the BRCA gene mutation test. The National Cancer Institute explains that the BRCA gene normally helps to suppress cell growth, but a person who inherits certain mutations (changes) in a BRCA1 gene has a higher risk of getting breast, ovarian, prostate, and other types of cancer.

The results were positive, and Emmett, whose mother died of breast cancer at age 50, knew she had to make a difficult decision.

Emmett’s husband, Ron Emmett, went with her to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan where they met with a team of doctors consisting of a gynecologist, breast surgeon and plastic surgeon. On Jan. 9, 2013, Emmett underwent a double mastectomy. 

The BRCA test results had shown that Emmett had an increased chance of getting ovarian cancer, so an oophorectomy, or ovary removal surgery, was also performed.

A biopsy showed stage zero cancer in Emmett’s fallopian tubes, something that never would have been diagnosed if she had not had the mammogram and BRCA test that led to this surgery. Emmett is now a big proponent of regular mammograms. Even though she had done regular self breast exams, she never felt a lump. The abnormal cells were hidden deep in the lining of her milk duct where they never would have been detected if she hadn’t had the mammogram.

Emmett said she feels very fortunate that her family, friends and co-workers supported her through her year-long journey from the initial operation, to reconstructive surgery, to her return to good health. During this time, she posted her progress on Facebook, and many of her friends were encouraged by her posts to get mammograms.

During her recuperation period, Emmett says, “I couldn’t lift my arms to wash my hair or put on makeup. I felt helpless.” 

Emmett realized this was a good time to relax and let other people take care of her. Her daughter, Theresa, stayed with Emmett the first two weeks after her surgery and took care of her. Even Emmett’s 6-year-old granddaughter, Leena, helped out by helping her walk wherever she needed to go. When Theresa and Leena returned to their home in Ballston Spa, Emmett’s husband, co-workers, and friends were more than willing to help out by preparing meals and doing errands for her.

Emmett advises others whose friends are going through a difficult time: “If you ask: ‘What can I do to help you?’ your friend won’t know what to say. Offer to do something specific like wash her hair, cook dinner or vacuum her floors. Then your friend can say: ‘Yes, please!’”

After Emmett’s mastectomy, the surgeon inserted temporary tissue expanders under the skin over her chest. Then she returned to Manhattan every other week for the silicone fills that gradually stretched the expanders and the skin over them. After six months, the surgeon replaced the expanders with the permanent implants. Emmett says: “The results are great.”

After going through her year-long journey with cancer, Emmett knew she had to help others who suffer from the disease. She makes bracelets to raise awareness for breast cancer. A portion of the proceeds benefits the Breast Cancer Action Group; you can read more at www.baction.org.

Emmett and her friend, Lauri Arnold, another breast cancer survivor, founded a peer-led cancer support group that meets on the third Wednesday of every month. Meetings take place in a room next to Starbucks in SUNY Oneonta’s Hunt Union from 4 to 5:30 p.m.The group is open to anyone who has been touched by cancer in any way, whether as a patient, survivor, friend or family member.

Every other month the cancer support group welcomes a guest speaker. Speakers have included a Reiki master, an energy healer, and executive chef and culinary consultant, Sean Taylor. Under Taylor’s direction, the group prepared a delicious meal of fish tacos with pan-fried tilapia, freshly made mango salsa, and guacamole.

The next meeting of the Oneonta peer-led Cancer Support Group will take place on Wednesday and will feature Sara Nelson O’Brien, author of The Bald Headed, Tattooed, Motorcycle Mama’s Devotional Guide: For Women Battling Cancer and Those Who Love Them. Emmett says: “We welcome new members to our group every month. We are there to support each other through the ups and downs of the healing journey.”

This article originally appeared in the Oneonta Daily Star on October 9, 2014