Neurodiversity

        

       When a child is born with a disability, building bridges of oneness is the last thing on the parents' and grandparents' minds. My grandson was two and a half when he was diagnosed with autism. I didn't know anything about autism then, but I've learned a lot over the past four years. One thing I've learned is that autism is a common disability, and having autism in the family creates understanding and connections with people we wouldn't have known otherwise. 

       Before our grandson's diagnosis, I didn't think a lot about neurodivergent people. In fact, I wasn't familiar with that term at all. Knowing and loving my grandson has opened my eyes and mind to the challenges of raising a child who does not communicate, learn, and play the way a neurotypical child does. I have struggled to find the spiritual reasons for autism, and what I've come up with is that it teaches the family how to love unconditionally. Whenever we are called upon to make sacrifices in order to care for another person, our hearts stretch and grow just a little bit more. I think that's what this is about.                                                        

       A year and a half ago my husband and I left our New York home of thirty years and moved to Wisconsin to be closer to our children and grandchildren. The main reason was to be here for our grandson, who can't be left with a childcare giver who doesn't understand his disability. While he attends an ABA clinic, there are many times that he can't go for one reason or another, and his parents have to leave work to care for him. When the Covid pandemic hit last year there was no childcare available before and after the clinic hours, and no child care for his younger sister, either, so we realized that our presence in Wisconsin was essential.                                

       Making friends in a new town is difficult in the best of circumstances, but add a pandemic that requires social distancing, and it's nearly impossible. Fortunately I made one new friend before Covid shut everything down. I met JoAnne at the gym, but we were drawn together by the commonality of my special needs grandson and her special needs daughter. Kathleen was born with a genetic micro deletion called 1q44. It is so rare it doesn't have a name or a syndrome associated with it. Some of Kathleen's behavior is similar to that of someone on the autism spectrum. Because she has trouble communicating, JoAnne became a speech pathologist. Before we were separated by social distancing JoAnne came to our house to work with my grandson one day, and she and I got together on several occasions.

                                                         JoAnne and Kathleen

Now that we are fully vaccinated, JoAnne and I are socializing again. The other day we went to a coffee shop together and I wore the T-shirt my daughter had given me for Mother's Day. The purchase was a fund-raiser for the ABA clinic. It tells people to "Embrace Autism." I have to say, while I embrace my grandson and others with autism, I can't embrace the disability itself. If I'm misunderstanding the meaning of this slogan, I'd love to hear from anyone who can explain it to me.

After we finished our coffee and muffins JoAnne and I were browsing through the gift section of the shop when a young man who obviously knew JoAnne said hello. She introduced us and I learned that he had been one of her speech clients when he was three years old. He noticed my shirt and told me that he has a disability, which JoAnne later told me is autism. I realized that by wearing that shirt I helped him to feel comfortable with me. Just acknowledging an awareness of neurodiversity and the people who struggle with it can build bridges between people from different backgrounds and forge new relationships. When I meet people with disabilities now I am much more sensitive toward them and their caregivers than I used to be. But I'm still working on it, realizing it is a lifelong process!

Friendships Lost and Renewed

        

       Friendships are often a good way to build bridges - if we can maintain a friendship with someone of a background or belief system that's different from our own. 

       About twelve years ago I was "unfriended" by two different women - both friendships that began in early adulthood, but at different times and in different places. When both of these friendships began we were in similar places on our spiritual journeys. We were spiritual seekers whose journeys eventually took different paths. Each friendship lasted for several decades, mostly maintained with long-distance phone calls and letters. 

       I will call one of these friends Susan. Susan lives in Alabama where we first met, while I have moved on to Tennessee, then New York, and now Wisconsin. Susan became deeply entrenched in fundamentalist Christianity, whereas I grew away from any specific religious identity toward a multi-faith spirituality. We based our friendship on those interests we continued to hold in common, until 2008 when I became a certified life-cycle celebrant. In this capacity I created and performed personalized wedding ceremonies ( as well as memorial services and a baby name ceremony). The weddings ranged from inter-faith, to spiritual, to totally non-religious. I created ceremonies that were meaningful to the couple whose love was being celebrated. I loved this work and felt that I was offering a wonderful service for couples who did not adhere to a specific religion but wanted something that reflected their own beliefs and their love for each other. 

       During the early days of my new venture I received a letter from Susan, letting me know that she was cutting off communication with me because I was encouraging people in their sinful ways. She said that my heart was hardened against God. Soon afterward we lost touch with each other and I sadly removed her name from my address book. 

       I will call the other friend Millie. I have known her longer than I've known Susan. We explored similar spiritual paths when we were in college together. Eventually she became an Animist. I thought I could relate to this concept because I do believe that God is a part of Creation, not a separate entity. Without going into the details, it seems that my concept of a divine universe did not mesh with Millie's beliefs. She objected to the comments I made on her blog, and eventually blocked me. When I performed a wedding in her town, I went to the house and knocked on the door. She did not answer it.

       In 2018 my husband, son, and I traveled to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon and visit Sedona. I remembered that Susan had loved Sedona and used to talk about moving there. I looked up her address so I could send her a post card from Sedona. Soon afterward I received a letter from her in which she apologized for shunning me and admitted that she had been wrong. She still thinks I'm wrong about religion, but has come to realize our differences don't mean we can't be friends. 

       The same year I received a letter from Millie, apologizing for the way she had treated me, and asking if we could renew our friendship. At that time I was in New York and she had moved to Massachusetts. We corresponded and discussed the possibility of seeing each other again. Millie created a zine based on her interests in animism and cannabis. She asked me to buy one for $7, which I did. I read the zine and decided it was not something I wished to subscribe to. She kept asking me to subscribe, and when I didn't, she stopped writing. A year later I wrote to tell her I was moving to Wisconsin and she said something that amounted to: "Have a good life."

       So what is the lesson here, I ask myself. We can build bridges with friendships, but sometimes bridges are burned. We can practice forgiveness seventy times seven, but sometimes the forgiven one won't accept our forgiveness - or maybe she thinks she is the one who needs to forgive and won't. Relationships can be a mystery. I believe the main lesson of every life is to love unconditionally as much as possible. But love comes in many forms and flavors. Sometimes we just have to love and let go.  

       

Building Bridges . . . with Snow!

                                                            View from my window 2/13/21.
   

    Winter is my least favorite season. I miss the days when I could run out the door without having to stop and put on a coat and hat, boots, scarf and gloves. Winter is the longest season of the year here in Wisconsin, just like it was in New York where I spent the major portion of my life. I don't like shoveling snow, slipping on ice, tracking snow and salt into the house - not to mention cabin fever which is worse than ever during the coronavirus pandemic!

    Hating winter as much as I do, I have to work hard to find enjoyment during the months of January, February, and March. (December is full of holiday celebrations, and winter is just beginning, so that one is easy.) I do a lot of reading, baking, and knitting. I have gone cross-country skiing with Mark a couple of times, but the temperature has been in the single digits and below zero with the wind chill factor this month, so I'm just hibernating in the house unless I have to go to the store. I walk my granddaughter to pre-school three times a week - a five-minute walk for which we are bundled up from head to toe.

    This morning Mark and I watched the snow fall on the scene pictured above while we ate breakfast together in our sunroom. We are grateful to have each other during this time of isolation. As we gazed out the window at our white neighborhood, we talked about the coming spring and how much we have to look forward to: our 44th anniversary, the flowers that will bloom for the first time in this yard, the fact that we and many others will have had our Covid vaccines, and the world will be coming back to life in more ways than one. 

    Meanwhile, the weather forecast predicts another week of sub-freezing temperatures and snow. Snow unites the neighborhood, as one yard blends into the next one. A blanket of white hides boundaries and reminds us that we are all one humanity. Snow muffles noise, creating a feeling of peace and quiet. 

    Diana Cooper (https://dianacooper.com/) who works with the angelic realms, tells us that Archangel Gabriel is always present where there is snow, purifying the land and bringing joy and hope. Diana goes on to say in her February newsletter: "Hope is the message for the Spring.  Hunker down for the rest of the winter but hold onto your vision that the new golden world will begin to show itself soon.  Remember this every time you see a glimmer of sunshine peep through the clouds.  Use this time of restriction to concentrate on what brings you soul satisfaction and happiness."

    This morning it brought me soul satisfaction and happiness to share waffles and raspberries with Mark, while watching the snow fall and listening to Andrea Boccelli sing this song of hope called "I Believe." 

I Believe Lyrics

One day I'll hear
The laugh of children
In a world where war has been banned

One day I'll see
Men of all colors
Sharing worlds of love and devotion

Stand up and feel
The Holy Spirit
Find the power of your faith

Open you heart
To those who need you
In the name of love and devotion

Yes I believe

I believe in the people
Of all nations
To join and care
For love

I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We'll make heaven on earth

I believe in a world
Where light will guide us
And giving our love
We'll make heaven on earth

Building Bridges with Gardens

     

Garden and Photo by Casey Palmisano

       Is there a person in the world who doesn't enjoy the beauty of a garden? Even those who don't enjoy the work of gardening themselves can appreciate the results of the gardener's efforts. People of every nationality, political or religious persuasion, count themselves among the gardeners of the world, and even more people enjoy the fruits of the gardeners' labors. Gardening, and sharing one's garden with others, can be a wonderful way to build bridges of oneness!

       This spring many people found themselves stuck at home, thanks to Covid 19, and so many decided to use their time to beautify their property by building decks and pergolas, and planting new gardens. I have been admiring gardens all over the world, thanks to Facebook pages like "View from my Window" and "Garden Design and Ideas." And since my husband and I just moved to Wisconsin, where we have been busy creating new hardscape (Mark) and landscape (me), I have joined several Facebook pages specifically meant for Wisconsin gardeners.  

       I spent thirty years creating and tending flower beds at our home in Oneonta, New York, which I really missed this spring when nothing bloomed in our new yard except for the little blue scilla that popped up under all of the trees. Once the scilla died out it was up to me to figure out what I could plant in the hard, clay soil near the five black walnut trees which exude juglone, a natural herbicide that kills certain plants, including columbine which is one of my favorite spring flowers. 

      While learning to garden in Wisconsin, I began to learn about the value of native plants. I had known about the importance of milkweed for the survival of the monarch butterfly, but otherwise I had no idea that many bees, butterflies, birds, and other pollinators depend on native plants for their survival! While I had been disappointed that so few flowers existed in our new yard, I am excited about this opportunity to start from scratch with a different type of garden that will benefit the environment. 

       When people are excited about new ideas, they want to share what they're learning with others. I like to tell other gardeners about the value of native plants, but that doesn't mean I don't understand and appreciate why their gardens are full of what I would call "old favorites." I have discovered that some of the other Facebook gardeners are already gardening with native plants or are keen to learn about them, while others think I am judging them because their gardens are full of flowers that originate from other countries. My New York garden was brimming with these plants, from bleeding hearts and hosta, to astilbe, iris, peonies, and many more. I think the only natives in my New York garden were Black-eyed Susans and Butterfly Weed. I really had no idea there was any difference. So how could I judge anyone whose gardens are full of the same flowers I used to grow and still love?

       It's interesting, and a little bit sad, how easy it is for a group of like-minded people to split into factions of "us" and "them." I really hope that the gardeners of the world will continue to admire the beauty of one another's efforts while remaining open-minded about new ways of doing things. Maybe I will put a bridge in my garden to remind visitors that we can build bridges of oneness one garden at a time.

       

Now Is the Time

       As the coronavirus pandemic continues to spread around the world, we tend to focus a lot of our time and attention on the people we hold responsible for its rapid growth. I share the feelings of anger and frustration with those who don't take social distancing seriously, those who refuse to believe that people can spread the virus even if they don't have symptoms, and the government leaders who have not acted preemptively to slow the spread of this virus. But I realize that when I focus on these negative thoughts, I lower my soul frequency to a level below the vibration of love and light that we must radiate if we want to eradicate this virus. 

       If you don't know what I mean by the term "soul frequency," just think about how heavy you feel when you are depressed, sick, or grieving. What does your energy feel like when you're angry?  And don't you feel buoyant and light when you listen to beautiful music, read inspirational literature, engage in creative activities, spend time in nature, or cuddle a beloved child? That is when you are raising your frequency to the level of Christ Consciousness/the fifth dimension/heaven on earth (whatever your belief). That is when you are letting your light shine as Jesus bade us to do. 

       This pandemic is a time of initiation for the whole world. Whenever we pass successfully through a difficult or challenging time of life it is a spiritual initiation that takes us to a level of higher frequency. It is very rare for the whole world to go through an initiation at the same time. (If it has ever happened before, I don't know when. Even the Spanish Flu and the world wars did not include every country that has been affected by Covid-19.) This initiation is imperative now because the earth and all life on it were in crisis before the pandemic came - and this may be our last chance to heed the call for unity. 

     In recent decades the world has been plagued with wars, famine, mass shootings, human trafficking, abuse and torture, and every kind of discord imaginable. We have seen an increase in floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, and wildfires. Disasters have always given rise to compassionate and heroic acts. Catastrophes unite people. But feelings of love for those outside of our own little circle tend to fade once the disaster has subsided. We have yet to learn how to raise our frequency and maintain it at the level necessary to bring heaven to earth - or perhaps I should say, to raise earth heavenward!

       When enough people focus on love, joy, beauty and light, the frequency of the world will rise above that of the coronavirus and it will disappear. As we keep our focus on love and unity instead of that which divides us, the human family will begin to co-exist harmoniously. 
I write this as a reminder to myself as well as for others. Every day I struggle to focus on what is good and beautiful. I am bombarded by reminders of everything that's wrong with our world. I hate the big trucks that lumber past my house, but I know they are delivering food and other necessities, so now as each one goes by I send love and light to the driver and thank him for his service.

       I hope that all of you will help me to spread love and positive news on the internet which goes out to so many people in the world. This is the opportunity of many lifetimes to bring about a lasting Era of Peace. 

Building Bridges with Corona

     

Balcony concert in Italy.

       This is a strange time to be in the world. When has there ever been another time when all of humanity had to practice social distancing for the survival of the race? Like so many of you, I am feeling the separation from the friends and family that I would normally see in person. I grieve for the thousands of people who are sick or mourning the loss of loved ones who have died of this virus. I weep for the healthcare workers who are overwhelmed by the enormity of their task. And yet, I also see the world community uniting spiritually during this time of physical separation. I see many ways in which the coronavirus is building bridges of oneness.

       People from all over the world are joining in prayer and meditation, creating positive energy and light for the healing of our planet, and offering suggestions for healthy ways to spend time alone at home. We have heard people singing together from their balconies in Italy and Spain; we have read poetry by those who have been inspired by the enormity of this experience; we have witnessed the selfless actions of those who continue to offer essential services, and those who sew masks or provide necessities to those who don't have them. My sister is posting online yoga classes and many others are live streaming programs of all kinds for adults and children. Our hearts are growing because of the need of the hour. We are reaching out to one another across borders and oceans, to seek solace, offer support, and share advice. 

       The coronavirus is helping us to recognize our oneness. May we learn this lesson now so that in the future it won't take a pandemic to wake us up to the truth of our interconnectedness.

       I'd like to share some of the poetry and images that give us hope during this cataclysmic time. If you have others to share, please post them under comments!

Poem by Donna Ashworth: 

History will remember when the world stopped,

And the flights stayed on the ground,

And the cars parked in the street,

And the trains didn’t run.

History will remember when the schools closed,

And the children stayed indoors,

And the medical staff walked towards the fire,

And they didn’t run.

History will remember when the people sang,

On their balconies, in isolation,

But so very much together,

In courage and song.

History will remember when the people fought

For their old and their weak,

Protected the vulnerable

by doing nothing at all.

History will remember when the virus left,

And the houses opened,

And the people came out,

And hugged and kissed,

And started again.

Pandemic

What if you thought of it
as the Jews consider the Sabbath—
the most sacred of times?
Cease from travel.
Cease from buying and selling.
Give up, just for now,
on trying to make the world
different than it is.
Sing. Pray. Touch only those
to whom you commit your life.
Center down.

And when your body has become still,
reach out with your heart.
Know that we are connected
in ways that are terrifying and beautiful.
(You could hardly deny it now.)
Know that our lives
are in one another’s hands.
(Surely, that has come clear.)
Do not reach out your hands.
Reach out your heart.
Reach out your words.
Reach out all the tendrils
of compassion that move, invisibly,
where we cannot touch.

Promise this world your love–
for better or for worse,
in sickness and in health,
so long as we all shall live.

–Lynn Ungar 3/11/20

And this one by my brother:

Pandemic

Steve Harvester

Pardon me, my unknown friend,
For offering you this wine
Across our social distance.

It is bold, as we must be,
With hints of coffee, cherry,
Chocolate, plum, and leather.

Let us drink in together
Both the wine, and the sunlight,
As it turns brown grass to gold;
Hear the peepers spring to life.

“Pandemic” hints of “panic”;
Also “pandemonium.”
But here, now, across our space
I take your virtual hand.
Together, we raise glasses.
One leaf trembles on the pond
Then becomes perfectly still.

Balcony concerts in Italy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EBByYjjvNzs

Europeans Under Lockdown Are Singing Together and Giving Their Health Care Workers Citywide Ovations: https://slate.com/culture/2020/03/coronavirus-quarantine-singalong-ovation-applause-italy-spain-bella-ciao-volare-nessun-dorma-verbena.html

From Patricia Cota-Robles at the Era of Peace: https://eraofpeace.org/blogs/news/a-positive-opportunity-involving-caronavirus

       

       Blessings to all of my friends around the world. Stay safe, stay well, stay home - but send your love and light around the world to keep those bridges strong!

Envisioning a Peaceful World

In August of 2011 I posted the following essay. I am reposting it now because I have started a Facebook group for people to share ideas about the New Peaceful World we want to create together. I do hope that readers of this blog will join and contribute to this group called Envisioning a Peaceful World: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1289483777899446/

All things begin in the imagination. “You’ve got to have a dream to have a dream come true” go the lyrics of one old song from the musical “South Pacific.” The only way to create a new and better world for the future is to imagine it NOW.

John Lennon promoted this idea with his famous song: “Imagine.” Some people assume Lennon was promoting a Godless world because he imagined a life without heaven or religions. His words, “Imagine all the people living for today” imply that we would live in peace and harmony with one another, our hearts full of love and compassion RIGHT NOW,  instead of basing our actions on the requirements of a future heaven and the threat of a future hell. (Even Jesus said the kingdom of heaven is among us - now - not up above the sky!) And there would be no religion, because so many wars have been fought over religious differences!

In the new world, as I imagine it, people would have faith in the divine spirit that connects us all. We would honor and respect the differences between people. We would love and honor every part of Creation, recognizing the connection and oneness of everything. This would not be a Godless world – it would be a God-full world!

In the world I imagine there will be an abundance of delicious and natural food available for every single person. Perhaps we’ll just go out and pick fruit straight from the trees and vegetables from the community gardens that will flourish in every village and town. We won’t need money because each person will freely give of his or her talents and abilities, and one will not be deemed more valuable than another. Unlike this world where entertainers are valued above everyone else, musicians and actors will perform for the love of their art and their audiences. There will be no violence in any kind of entertainment – in fact, no violence in the world. The very idea will be considered barbaric and antiquated. Better yet, we won’t even remember that violence ever existed!

I love Lennon’s line: “You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.” I’m a dreamer, too! Are you? I would love it if readers would add to my imaginings. Please comment: What do you imagine for the new world? Let your imagination go wild – with beauty, color, joy, and peace!

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one