The Wake-up Call of Cancer

                                                         First visit with my granddaughter                                                                                                                             after cancer diagnosis. 

       We all know people who have had cancer, the second leading cause of death in the U.S. We know people who have survived, and we know people who have died. Still, cancer is an abstract concept - until it becomes all too concrete.

       I never thought cancer would seek me out. After all, I live a healthier lifestyle than the average American. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. No one in my immediate family has had cancer other than the skin cancer we all asked for when we baked in the sun all through the fifties and sixties. 

       My only risk factor is age. And yet, just five weeks ago I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. Suddenly I experienced the same wake-up call as have millions of others. I have written about many wonderful "bridges to oneness" but now I am part of a bridge "club" I had never hoped to join.

       When the diagnosis was first received, the idea of having cancer was abstract.  I wondered how this will affect my life, and how much longer is my life going to be? Should I sign up for invasive treatments, or should I gracefully accept whatever is to come and start writing farewell notes to my loved ones?

       My first thought was that, since I have no fear of death, and I have lived a good and full life, why should I put myself through the travails of chemotherapy? Then came the wake-up call: this isn't just about me. How can I leave my husband alone? As he quotes from the Fleetwood Mac song, "I've built my life around you."  I picture him at our breakfast table, all alone, and it breaks my heart. 

      My daughter is crying on the phone, my son is at a loss for words, but wants to visit ASAP. They come the first weekend after my diagnosis. It was the first time our original family of four has been together since partners and grandchildren were added. They look at the scrapbook of my life that I put together four years ago. We share a lot of memories, love, and hugs. It is a time of healing. A time for gratefulness. 

       I had my first chemo treatment a week ago. We'll see how it goes. The diagnosis is less abstract now that I've had numerous procedures and started treatment. I recognize the wake-up call of cancer is to cherish each moment with loved ones, not knowing when it will be the last. We all live with the realization that death comes to everyone, we know not when or how. But cancer makes that knowledge more concrete. Not just that it's going to happen someday, but that it's likely to happen sooner than later. 

       The perks of cancer, and yes, there are some - are that my family is making the effort to spend as much time with me as possible. They are more affectionate, more attentive, and more generous with their love. Extended family and friends are showering me with kindness, love, and prayers. My illness is opening a floodgate of love into the world. Perhaps this will be my final gift to humanity before I embark on the next adventure. 

       

Many Mansions

       When I was seventeen a pen pal sent me the book, Many Mansions: The Edgar Cayce Story on Reincarnation by Gina Cerminara. This book opened my eyes to the reality of reincarnation as part of the Divine Plan for humanity. I tried to share this revelation with others, only to be met with incredulity by everyone I knew. Christians cannot accept this concept because it's not spelled out in the Bible, and non-Christians can't accept it because there is no scientific proof. 

    I am not setting out to prove the reality of reincarnation because there are many books and articles on that topic. But in the interest of Building Bridges of Oneness, I'd like to point out how a belief in reincarnation aids this goal. 

    I think most people disbelieve reincarnation because they don't remember any of their other lives. Some do remember at least their most recent past life, and many can return to past lives under hypnosis. There is a veil of forgetfulness that each soul passes through on their way to a new physical life. If I was to remember everything my soul has experienced prior to this life as Emily, it would be very difficult to focus on my current life lessons. However, knowing that I have lived before as both male and female, as a member of multiple races, religions, and cultures, helps me to recognize my oneness with all of humanity. 

    The soul's ability to reincarnate explains many of life's mysteries. Why are people born into so many different circumstances - some into poverty, some with a silver spoon in their mouths, some with a disability, some unattractive, and some beautiful? Each of our souls has experienced a myriad of circumstances, learning different lessons from each lifetime. For example, one person might be born blind because he caused another to lose his sight in a past life. The soul has chosen to be born blind, not as a punishment, but as a way of learning what it was like for the person he had harmed. There are no punishments from God. It is we, ourselves, who decide with guidance from more advanced souls, what we want to learn in each lifetime. 

     Some people who dismiss the concept of reincarnation think that it means they won't go to heaven when they die, but this is not the case. Our souls have a lot to learn on other planes of existence - maybe heavenly or maybe somewhere else in the infinite universe. We only return to earth when we decide it's what we need to do next.

    The age-old question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" is answered by the realization that the "bad thing" is a lesson that person's soul needs to learn in this particular life. No one soul suffers more than it has chosen to. This might be easier to understand when you look at the horrible ways some people treat others. Then imagine what that person will need to learn in the next life. 

    The concept of reincarnation is difficult for many to believe. If you are a non-believer, please respect those who believe. There are many wonderful books and articles that support this concept, and I do believe that it demonstrates wonderfully the oneness of all humanity. Life after life, we relate to one another in different ways, learning how to love, challenge, and forgive one another as we grow together on the path to remembering who we truly are: divine brothers and sisters with God as our common parent.

For further reading: buddhaweekly.com/the-science-of-reincarnation/

Happy Ash Valentine's Wednesday!

   

    The juxtaposition of Ash Wednesday and Valentine's Day on the same day is not an occurrence I can remember happening prior to 2024. Those who go to church today will hear the words: "From dust you came and from dust you will return" as they receive ashes on their foreheads. These words come from Genesis 3:19 which was written long before Jesus said, "You are the light of the world" and demonstrated that we are spiritual beings destined for eternal life. 

    Valentine's Day is a celebration of love in all of its forms. Romantic partners exchange gifts and flowers, children exchange valentines and share special treats at school, and many people show their love for family and friends in different ways. This year I sent Valentines to my elderly aunt, my grandchildren, and friends who live alone. Tomorrow I will host a Valentine party for friends who will share photographs of people who have taught them about love. 

    Jesus never told us that we are dust. Genesis 3:19 refers only to our physical bodies which will indeed return to dust one day. Jesus taught us that our true eternal selves will never die. Our love nature - the part of ourselves that we celebrate on Valentine's Day - is part of our eternal spirit that lives forever. 

 

 

Through Empathy to Light

    

   

    This morning at breakfast Mark and I discussed some reasons not to dwell on the sorrows and suffering of the world. Some people steep themselves in daily reports of war and the unspeakable horrors of earthly life. They say those who don't are acting like ostriches with their heads in the sand. Mark and I are not ostriches - we are well aware of life's darker side, and we see enough of these reports to know that humanity is still struggling to emerge from its evil tendencies.

    I can't say that I never feel the weight of this evil, but I make a concerted effort to lift that weight whenever it threatens to squash my spirit. I know what it is like to "walk through the valley of the shadow of death" and I believe this is something every person much do before we can emerge into the light on the other side of this shadow. 

    Many people experience "man's inhumanity to man" firsthand. (I would add, even more women than men experience this inhumanity, and too many children.) Most of my experience has been due to my empathic nature, my ability to feel the pain of others. As a child, I became acquainted with the horrors of war when I watched the movie "War and Peace" and afterward cried myself to sleep. Not long after that I watched the evening news with my parents and saw the coffins of Vietnam soldiers coming off the plane, one after another, after another. I felt the pain of their parents and other loved ones who might be wondering for what purpose these men had made the ultimate sacrifice.

    Throughout my teen and young adult years I read books and news stories, and watched movies, that illustrated the shadow side of humanity. Sometimes I would dwell on a story, cry and pray for days and days. I didn't realize that in doing so I was adding to the sadness of the world, and yet it was something I had to go through before I could know that I didn't have to do it anymore. 

        As I said to Mark this morning, I think it is necessary for most people to travel through that shadowy land before we can be the light of the world. Those who are still able to harm others have probably never learned to feel another's pain. Once a person experiences empathic feelings, they will not be able to hurt someone else without feeling it themselves. 

    Both modern science and spiritual inquiry are discovering the interconnectedness of all beings - something that has always been known by the indigenous peoples of the world. This oneness of everything means that when one being suffers, we all suffer, and when one being is filled with joy, the energy of the whole is raised to a higher level. When enough people fill the world with light, we will have heaven on earth.

    Now that I understand my unity with all life, I know that the lighter and more joyful I feel, the more love, light, and peace I can contribute to the world. Some people make fun of me because I avoid violent movies and books. After all, it's part of real life, isn't it? But I have seen enough of life's hellish side. Now I choose to focus on these words from Philippians 4:8: ". . . whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

    To focus on beauty, peace, and love when so much of the world is focused on ugliness is a formidable task. I have decided to accept the challenge along with a myriad of other lightworkers!

Fall Celebrations: The Time of the Thinning Veil

Throughout history, celebrations have occurred at this time of year: Halloween, Samhain, The Day of the Dead, and All Soul's Day all take place between October 31st and November 2nd. On these dates we are at the halfway point between the Fall Equinox and the Winter Solstice. We are also experiencing the time when the veil between the material and physical worlds is at its thinnest. Some believe this means it's the best time to communicate with departed loved ones. I would like to suggest that it is also a good time to commune with angels and other divine beings who have humanity's best interests at heart. 

The angels and all divine beings who do God's will are working tirelessly to promote the Oneness of humanity, to help us recognize that we are ALL children of God, and that nothing we do can separate us from one another or our divine parents. These divine beings do not recognize the political, religious, and cultural divisions that people have created to separate ourselves into Us and Them camps. The Divine Plan is for all people to realize that we are interconnected and interrelated - so when any one of us hurts another, we also hurt ourselves and all of Creation. The Time of the Thinning Veil is a good time for people and divine beings to work together on this plan. 

One way this happens on Halloween is felt in the comradery of trick-or-treaters and treaters. When I was growing up in the '60's there were a lot of tricksters out on Halloween night: squirting shaving cream on unsuspecting friends and throwing eggs at windows. I don't see this kind of behavior anymore - maybe because there is a 4-6:00 limit on the activity that used to take place only after dark - but maybe because people as a whole have become more considerate of others. 

Last night when trick-or-treaters came to our door, I greeted them in my hippie-peacenik costume. I offered a piece of chocolate to each person who came to our door, regardless of their age, color, or costume. Nearly all of the children said "thank-you," and one boy even gave me a hug! I know that everyone else in our neighborhood was being kind and generous in the same way. Halloween is an equal-giving-and-receiving opportunity!

Our grandchildren live in West Bend, Wisconsin, where trick-or-treating takes place on the Saturday before Halloween. The whole town celebrates, so it feels like one big party. Mark and I joined our family for this event, and I carried my "Imagine Peace" sign as we accompanied Mary Potter, Belle, and a little witch on their treasure hunt. 

As you can see in the above photo, the good people of West Bend like to hang out in their front yards, often sitting around a portable firepit to pass out candy and other treats. As we moseyed from one yard to another, we only met one person who didn't quite get the meaning of togetherness that the rest of the neighborhood was feeling. This guy had generously set up a table with candy for kids and jello shots for adults. But next to the table was a poster insulting President Biden. 

When Mark and I approached his table, this man proudly showed off the front and back of his T-shirt and baseball cap, all with messages that either insulted Biden or extolled Trump. Mark and I were so dumbfounded, we were at a loss for words. The man was clearly disappointed with our lack of response, and we were disappointed that he used this non-political holiday to promote his Us and Them politics. 

Obviously, this man enjoyed the feeling of comradery in his neighborhood. His mistake was believing that everyone in the neighborhood shares his opinions and his inclination to make fun of people with whom he disagrees. I hope that our lack of response helped him to realize his blunder. Thinking about him makes me realize that many people who enjoy being part of a larger family just need to enlarge their circle further in order to help create the peaceful world most of us long for. 

Now, when the veil between the divine and material worlds is thin, it is an opportune time to pray that humanity learns to overlook its differences. Let us pray that all people realize: nobody is better than anyone else, and being in line with divine will means loving all of our neighbors, no matter what they believe, what they look like, or who they vote for. 

For the Love of Cats and Birds

 

      If you love cats, if you love birds, or if you love both, you should make sure your cat watches the birds in your yard from an inside window!  Your cat will live longer if you keep it inside. 5.4 million cats are hit by cars every year in the US, and 97% of those cats die from their injuries. One recent Sunday I was driving to church when I saw a woman standing guard over a cat lying in the middle of the road. I stopped to see if the woman needed assistance, thinking that the cat might need a trip to the vet. Its eyes were open, but it lay motionless. With tears in her eyes, the woman told me the neighbors would soon be burying their beloved pet.

    Many years ago I owned a black and white cat named Margie who taught me the pros and cons of letting cats roam around the neighborhood.  Because she spent a lot of time outside I didn't have to provide a kitty litter box for her. (It didn't occur to me that she was probably using the neighbors' gardens to do her business, but that would be a con if I'd thought about it.) I didn't have to provide a scratching post for her either, because she sharpened her claws on the tree trunks in our yard. She used those sharp claws to torture the baby bunnies and birds that I sometimes found half-dead on our doorstep. That was one of the downsides. The other downside came after three years of life with Margie when she failed to return home. Whether she had been hit by a car or catnapped by someone who needed a good mouser, I will never know. 

    If you love birds you probably know how important it is to keep your cats in the house.  In the lower 48 states of the United States alone, cats kill approximately 2.4 billion birds and 12.3 billion small mammals every year.  Cats have contributed to the extinction of 63 species of birds, mammals, and reptiles in the wild and continue to adversely impact a wide variety of other species, including those at risk of extinction. 

    I understand the love of cats. There is nothing else like having a soft, warm, furry kitty purring in your lap. But I love birds, too! For the sake of birds, other small animals, and the longevity of your own dear cat - please keep it in the house if you don't already. (And let's keep our cats and birds off the Rainbow Bridge as long as possible!)

For more on this topic see: For the Love of Birds

Waving the World Flag

    Today is Independence Day in the United States of America where I live. This year we decided not to hang the American flag because we have come to realize that the holiday is a celebration of a war, - a war that led to many more wars, including those waged against the native inhabitants of this land. While King George had been guilty of many crimes, the upper class colonists were not free of guilt, resorting to lies in order to convince the colonists to revolt.* It is also interesting to note that other British colonies, including Canada, gained their rights and independence without a war. 

    I have learned about the not-so-glorious side of the Revolutionary War on pages 30-31 of the book, War is a Lie by David Swanson. This one quote from these pages is an eye-opener: "Punishment for infractions in the Continental Army was 100 lashes. When George Washington, the richest man in America, was unable to convince Congress to raise the legal limit to 500 lashes, he considered using hard labor as a punishment instead, but dropped that idea because the hard labor would have been indistinguishable from regular service in the Continental Army. Soldiers also deserted because they needed food, clothing, shelter, medicine, and money. They signed up for pay, were not paid, and endangered their families' wellbeing by remaining in the Army unpaid."** 

    On Independence Day Americans celebrate our freedoms. In recent years I have noticed how many people use these freedoms as an excuse to be self-centered and irresponsible. Yes, in this country we are free to collect weapons of mass destruction, kill each other, spread  disease, and deny others their rights to health, happiness, and prosperity. Another reason not to hang the American flag.

    Since we have decided not to fly the American flag, I wondered if there was a world flag that would better symbolize my identity as citizen of the world. I found the beautiful world flag pictured above, the blue dot symbolizing the earth that all of humanity shares. The semi-transparent background enables us to see our own world or home through the flag, as well as our common home, the blue planet in the center. 

    I found this flag on the website: 1worldflag.com. Some of the impetus for this flag comes from the images of our world as seen from space. As I read on the website: "Only a few national borders are visible from space, like the border between South Korea and North Korea at night. . . .  But most borders are not visible, and other aspects such as fanatical religious, national or ethnic beliefs are likewise hard to grasp by looking at Earth as a whole. New world maps are drawn by climate change and rising sea levels, which do not distinguish between social classes, nor care about carving out borders. The fact that no single nation-state alone can cope with the global risk of climate change creates a new understanding that the principle of independence and autonomy is an obstacle to the survival of the human race."

    Many will call me unpatriotic for stating that I can no longer celebrate Independence Day, and they will be right. As a world citizen, I believe that patriotism and nationalism are dangerous to the survival of the world that I love more than any one part of God's creation. 

*Garth S. Jowett and Victoria O'Donnell, Propaganda and Persuasion, 3rd ed., Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publications, 1999, p. 328 

**Robert Fantina, Desertion and the American Soldier: 1776-2006, New York: Algora Publishing, 2006

THINK PEACE

 

    The other day I was driving from one grocery store to another - because Aldi products are less expensive and they carry the best dark chocolate, and because Piggly Wiggly carries things that Aldi doesn't have, like Tahini and milk in glass bottles - when I noticed a bumper sticker on the car in front on me reading THINK PEACE. Immediately I felt more peaceful than I had all day. The message reminded me that there are other people in the world who want peace and believe that it's possible if people would think in terms of peace and be at peace within themselves. 

    As I turned the corner from Geneva Street to Borg Road I was still thinking about peace and how mind-boggling it is that in the twenty-first century humankind still engages in war and other modes of violence. (When will we start living up to the KIND part of the word, "humankind?") 

    Thinking some more, I can almost excuse the acts of violence that are perpetuated by individuals who have not yet evolved to an understanding that we are all One, and that when we hurt another human being, we are actually hurting ourselves and all of the creation to which we are connected. But war! War is conducted by the governments of supposedly civilized countries. When will our leaders realize there is nothing civilized or excusable about warfare?

    As long as people believe that war is an acceptable form of "diplomacy," it will continue. The admonition to THINK PEACE is paramount. We must think in terms of peace if we are to have peace in this world. Think peace and BE peaceful. When enough people wake up to the fact that humankind can only survive when peace prevails, it will happen. 

    What a great reminder that bumper sticker is. I am grateful to the driver who spreads this message of goodwill and hope everywhere he goes.

You may also like: Envisioning a Peaceful World

The Homegrown National Park

   

   

    All across the country gardeners are building bridges by creating a Homegrown National Park with native plants, organic lawns, and gardens that focus on habitat for wildlife, birds and pollinators. The concept of the Homegrown National Park is the brainchild of Dr. Doug Tallamy who says: “We are at a critical point of losing so many species from local ecosystems that their ability to produce the oxygen, clean water, flood control, pollination, pest control, carbon storage, etc, that is, the ecosystem services that sustain us, will become seriously compromised.”

    The goal of the Homegrown National Park is for homeowners to create 20 million acres of native plantings in the U.S. This represents approximately ½ of the green lawns of privately-owned properties. This may seem like an impossible goal, but the park has been growing in leaps and bounds over recent years, and I am proud to add my quarter of an acre to this growing park. No effort is too small!

    Before moving to Wisconsin from rural New York three and a half years ago, I gardened merely for the beauty of the plants and flowers I loved. I was tired of fighting with the invasives, deer, and squirrels, and decided that I wouldn't bother gardening in my "old age." Then we arrived at our new home where the weedy lawn was graced by huge maples, elm trees, and black walnuts, but no gardens at all. I decided I would add just a few flowers and ferns here and there . . . .

    I joined a couple of Wisconsin garden groups on Facebook, and that's where I learned about the value of native plants. I realized then that my gardenless property offered me the opportunity to start fresh with a new way of gardening and my enthusiasm was renewed. I read Doug Tallamy's book, Nature's Best Hope and joined the Kettle Moraine chapter of Wild Ones. And then I got to work!

    This area next to our driveway had been taken over by Buckthorn, an invasive shrub that displaces native species all over Wisconsin. Mark and I removed it and let the native violets take over. I have planted several other native species here, including Penstemon, Columbine, Switchgrass, and several varieties of milkweed.

    Our first spring in Delavan, before I learned about native plants, I planted a few of my old favorites, like this Japanese painted fern. It was the one thing I thought I would put under this black walnut tree among the Creeping Charlie and other weeds.

    As my ambition grew I gradually planted more things under the tree. The garden space grew as I added native shade plants including Columbine, Celandine poppy, Solomon's Seal, Painted goldenrod, Short's asters, Bottlebrush grass, Blue-eyed Mary, and more. This is what it looks like as of May 2023.

    Another area where I've been planting shade natives started with the fence that Mark built, a statue that I call Kwan Yin, and several huge rocks that Mark and I moved from behind the garage. Here are the before and after photos.

    The native plants surrounding Kwan Yin include woodland phlox, foam flower, Virginia waterleaf (which grows wild all over the lawn), Solomon's Seal, Jacob's ladder, Virgin's Bower on the trellis, and goldenrod and asters for fall nectar sources.

    

    These are just two of the five native plant gardens in our backyard. If you wish to see more, let me know in the comments.

    Last summer Mark and I added a garden bed to the front yard. He does the hardscaping and I do the landscaping. In the spring of 2020 I planted some non-natives in the front yard - before I decided to become a part of the Homegrown National Park. Here are photos of the 2020 garden and the 2023 garden.

    The front yard garden now includes native Long-beaked sedge, Jacob's ladder, Prairie alum root, Celandine poppy, Trillium, Violets, and a hydrangea shrub. Soon to be added will be Bradbury's Monarda.

    Last year our property was visited by two members of the Geneva Lake Conservancy who awarded me the certificate that now stands in this garden. It states that this is an environmentally friendly landscape because of its numerous native plants, non-use of chemicals, bird baths and nesting boxes.

    If you would like to become a part of the Homegrown National Park I recommend that you check out their website and also the native plant finder on the National Wildlife Federation website.     

    

        

Connecting with Libraries

    I have nearly always lived within walking distance of a public library, starting in childhood when my mother took me to the Sayville Public Library for story time with Mrs. Haff. (For some reason I thought of her as Mrs. Half Moon - maybe because I thought she had to be half of something, so why not the moon?) When I learned to read I browsed the shelves for books about live dolls (Rumer Godden), magic (Edward Eager), and historical fiction like Calico Captive by Elizabeth Speare. 

     When I was in the seventh grade I took a part-time job as a library aid, working after school twice a week and more often in the summer. As I shelved books in the adult section of the library I discovered books on subjects hitherto unknown to me: Unitarianism, alien abduction, and the prophecies of Edgar Cayce. Having grown up in a Protestant church I was fascinated by the biographies of Saint Bernadette, Saint Therese the little flower, and Joan of Arc. History, with its catalog of wars and industrial inventions held little interest for me, but reading the biographies of historical women such as the Empress Josephine, Pocahontas, Abigail Adams, Dolly Madison, and Marie Curie revealed to me the "her-storical" perspective with which I could identify!

    When I was in high school I participated in a book discussion group at the library. We read books that would probably be banned from some school libraries today: Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin, Native Son by Richard Wright, and The Autobiography of Malcolm X. We did not read anything by Zora Neale Hurston. We were in the midst of the civil rights movement, but the feminist movement had not yet made waves in Sayville, New York. (Even as an English major in college I read only male authors. Thus my decision to study women's literature at the Goddard Graduate School for Social Change.)

    I have been on a roll, reading every available novel that takes place in a library or bookshop. The heroine is inevitably called upon to save the library or store from closure. I know that book stores close, but I've never known a real library to be in danger of closing. When we lived in Walton, New York, the library was only open part-time, but 35 years later it is still open. When we moved to Oneonta in 1989 I was thrilled that the Huntington Memorial Library was a short walk from our house. I took my kids to story time there every week. Twenty-five years later I took my grandkids to story time at the same library. I was an avid patron of that library until our move to Delavan, Wisconsin in 2019. 

    Aram Public Library is one of my favorite places in my new hometown. A short walk from our house, I visit just about every week to borrow books for my reading habit. Far from the danger of closure, Aram is on track to build an addition over the next few years. Aram offers a lot more to the community than books and DVDs. It is the place to go to meet with like-minded people in discussion groups, classes, and many programs on a variety of topics. My favorites are the impersonators who portray famous people. So far I've met Abraham Lincoln, Jackie Onassis, and Amelia Earhart at the library!

    Wherever you live, you probably have access to a library. It's the place to go to connect with others through books and events. My husband, Mark, goes to the library to teach English as a second language to a Mexican resident. The population of Delavan is 23% Mexican and Aram caters to this population with a collection of Spanish books and DVDs. Sometimes they host a Bilingual Family Night or a bilingual discussion group. Every library is unique, but each one offers a myriad of ways for patrons to build bridges by learning about other people. 

Experiencing Disability

    

    I have not written anything for this blog since before February 13th when I had surgery for a hip replacement that didn't go well. In the process of inserting a prosthesis into my right femur, the femur was cracked, resulting in my inability to put weight on my right leg for six to eight weeks. If you want more details, you can read about them if you click here: The Unwanted Elephant and Let Justice Roll Down Like Water.

    I have just passed the four week mark, counting down the days (twelve) when I will get x-rays and find out whether I can begin the physical therapy that should have started a month ago. Meanwhile, I am spending most of my time on the first floor of our two-story house, using a walker to get from bed, to half bath, to table and recliner. Two weeks ago I started to go upstairs twice a week, sliding on my bottom, using a shower chair with Mark's help, to get from the top step to the landing and then into the bathroom for a sit-down shower. 

    I am learning what it is like to live with a disability. I am grateful that my disability is temporary, but still, this experience gives me a little glimpse into the life of someone who cannot walk or take care of themselves. Because I am dependent on a walker for mobility, I can't fetch things for myself. I am dependent on Mark to get me a glass of water, to prepare my meals, to put on my compression socks, and bring me the things I need with which to occupy myself. It is a humbling experience.

    Since my surgery Mark and I have enjoyed a lot of support from our family, friends, and church community. Many have brought us meals and homemade cookies, sent cards and flowers, and come to visit. It feels wonderful to be showered with so much love, care, and prayers. When this is over I hope I will remember what it's like to be helpless and remember that there are many who never recover from a disability and may be forgotten with the passage of time. I hope this experience will serve as a bridge of oneness between me and those who spend their lives in a wheelchair. 

    Yesterday Mark took me downtown for my first stroll in the wheelchair we borrowed from a friend. I hadn't expected such a bumpy ride which made me realize what it's like, not only for those in wheelchairs, but for toddlers in strollers! When we saw a woman coming toward us with her dog I held my breath until she pulled the leash closer to her body. I did not want it jumping up on my lap. She asked if I like dogs and I said, "He does," pointing back to Mark. Coming face-to-face with a dog is another thing people in wheelchairs have to beware of. I am grateful that this dog owner was courteous!

    Mark took the above photograph as he was helping me back up the stairs after our stroll. If I was permanently disabled I guess we would have a ramp and not have to use the shower chair method to get in and out of the house. For now, I am grateful to the physical therapist who taught us how to use the adjustable chair to go up and down the stairs. Yesterday was my first outing other than to a doctor's office in more than a month. People with disabilities need to get out of the house, even if it's a big ordeal to get them out. I am very grateful to my husband who also took me out for breakfast this morning and then helped me upstairs so I could take a shower and write this blog on my computer.

Everyone is Unique

    When I became the grandmother of a child on the autism spectrum I learned that "If you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism." This oft-repeated quote is attributed to Dr. Stephen Shore, an autism advocate who is on the spectrum himself. It is important to be aware that we can't lump all autistic people into the same category. But I would like to add: if you have met one human being, you have met one unique human being." 

    Every human being is a distinct individual unlike any other. And yet, we humans love to lump people together using stereotypes, labels, and typecasting to dehumanize those outside of our own sphere. 

    One example of typecasting is the way many White Americans see African Americans as if they were all alike and all inferior human beings. I grew up in a small Long Island community where there was only one Black family. This family included a girl my age who I remember coming to my house to play and who I invited to my house for birthday parties. I don't remember treating her any differently than I did my other friends who were Jewish, Catholic, Mormon, and Protestant. 

    One of my best friends in college was an African American woman whose Black friends called her an "Oreo." I don't know if this label hurt her feelings, but it did imply that these friends did not acknowledge the individual personality of this woman who just happened to have some interests in common with her White housemates.

 

   After I graduated from college I moved to Washington, D.C. where I worked at an accounting school. Many of the students had come from Nigeria. One of these Nigerian men asked me if I'd like to go with him to a park on a Saturday afternoon. I don't recall what park it was because we never got there. When he picked me up he said he'd decided to take me to his apartment instead. If I hadn't been such a naive, young woman, I would have told him to let me out of the car immediately. I didn't, and I went to his apartment where we danced and he pressed an unwanted kiss on my lips. I told him I wanted to go home and he said, "Before I take you home I want you to do something for me." I asked what that was and he said, "Come on, we aren't children." Oh dear, he had finally broken through my naivety. "Take me home now!" I insisted, and thankfully he did. 

    Back at the office I took this man's application out of the files and saw that he was married. When he called me at work I told him about my discovery. He denied that he was married and asked me to go out with him again! When I refused his invitation he said, "I know you won't go out with me because I'm Black." If that was true, why did I go out with him in the first place? No, it was because as a unique individual he was a despicable person. Okay, I'm sure he had some good qualities, but he did not share them with me on that sunny afternoon when he took me to his dark apartment instead of to the park as he'd promised. 

    Several years later, my husband and I were living in Birmingham, Alabama where he was enrolled in the university's surgeon's assistant program. While we were there we befriended a couple who invited us for dinner at their home. We enjoyed their company and the antics of their clever dog, so we invited them to our apartment. I don't recall the subject of our after-dinner conversation when the wife said, "If you hate niggers the way we do . . . ." I'm sure Mark's and my mouths dropped open at that point and it was most likely the end of the conversation and the end of the visit. I confess that we labeled them "racists" even though they had some positive qualities. I think the difference is that we didn't decide to hate them because of this one flaw. We would never say that "all racists are alike." But knowing this about them made it impossible to continue our friendship. 

    When Mark and I first decided to move from Boston to Birmingham I was filled with trepidation, my only knowledge of Alabama being its violent civil rights history and the report from a childhood pen pal about the separate water fountains for Blacks and Whites. The couple with bigoted leanings fit the stereotype I had in mind, but during our two years in Birmingham we met a wide range of unique and wonderful individuals, some of whom we still call friends 45 years later. 

    I have shared these stories as a few examples and reminders of why we should never stereotype a person because of their race, religion, political party, or any other group they might belong to. If we can remember that every single person is as unique as the fingerprints on their hands, we will be doing our part to build bridges of oneness in the world. 

For another take on this subject, please check out: Is it Fair to Assign an Identity to Someone Else?

Celebration of Love

   

Valentine's Day is celebrated throughout the month of February with red roses, hearts, and chocolates.  Traditionally it is the celebration of romantic love, but children exchange valentines at school, and many people send cards to family and friends. This year I decorated with symbols of every kind of love!

    Many years ago, Mark spent ten days in the Dominican Republic as a medical missionary. While he was there he bought the statue of a man and woman kissing. Obviously, that is my symbol of romantic love, but it also represents the love of art. 

    The angel playing a violin represents divine love as well as the love of music. The heart-shaped earth symbolizes love for the entire world. 

    On the tree hangs a heart ornament with two deer representing love for the animal world. The snowflake represents water and the uniqueness of all the people and things we love. The cardinal reminds us of our love of birds. Cardinals are also thought of as messengers from heaven, symbolizing our loved ones in spirit. 

    The family tree represents familial love. It was a gift from my grandmother when she was alive and my children were little. The crystal and the candle symbolize the divine light which connects everyone and everything in love and oneness. 

    This year, on Valentine's Day, let's all open our hearts to the many kinds of love that include the whole world - and beyond. Opening our hearts to everyone and everything will help to usher in the Era of Peace that humanity longs for.

Avalanche of Love

Time to Topple the Pyramid

  
                                        

    Roosting in splendor on the uppermost tier of the pyramid of life are the elite who have benefited materially from humanity's mistaken separation from Divine Love and from one another. From this vantage point they can look down on the rest of the world, where those dwelling on the lowest tiers struggle to survive, and those in the middle work hard to maintain varying levels of comfort. Throughout history, those dwelling on the middle and lower tiers have supported the extravagant lifestyle of those on the top. This arrangement is sometimes known as “dualism,” as opposed to the unity that Love desires for humanity.

    The beneficiaries of dualism have gone by many names and labels. At the very tippy top there are the pharaohs, kings and queens, emperors and empresses, czars and czarinas, chiefs, dictators and popes. Not too far below them are the lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses, counts and countesses; bishops, presidents and other government leaders - CEOs. In ancient times, the Egyptian pharaohs were worshiped as gods with absolute power, who claimed ownership of everyone and everything in Egypt. In China, the Mandate of Heaven ensured that the gods would bless the authority of a just ruler; and his subjects believed that this blessing should include an opulent lifestyle.

    The Hebrews believed that God had created the lineage of kings that ruled over Israel. Solomon, who ascended to the throne upon the death of his father, King David, amassed a vast amount of wealth during his reign. He took 700 wives and 300 concubines, who were treated more like possessions than the cherished help-mates they might have been if each had been allowed a single husband! Solomon used slave labor for his many building ventures, including the palace that took 13 years to construct; and he placed heavy taxes on his people in order to support his projects. If he had been an instrument of Love, rather than a king anointed by a priest of the misconceived jealous Jehovah, he would have recognized his oneness with all other people, including those he had treated as slaves.

    When Jesus came into the world to teach people about Love, Israel was under rule of the Romans who worshiped their emperor as a god. Neither the Romans nor the Jews could fathom a government ruled by an ordinary person. Jesus never referred to a connection between God and kings. However, he did say: “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s, and render unto God what is God’s” (Mark 12:17). Early church scholars understood this to mean that Christians should submit to worldly rulers as long as they were not being asked to defy God’s commandments. This interpretation would sanction the oppression of vassals and citizens by Christian emperors and kings for hundreds of years, and Love’s angels would weep as they witnessed the evils that took place under the guise of religion.

    I think the angels would have wondered: “Why is it so difficult for people to understand that what belongs to Caesar are the riches of the world, and what belongs to God is the spiritual power that comes with divine creativity, unconditional love, and the knowledge that all are One?” Some of the men who wrote the doctrines that would tell Christians what to believe were quite aware that Jesus wanted people to discover the divine power that is available to all of us. These men remained beloved children of Divine Spirit, even though they preferred not to claim this birthright. To do so would be to recognize that all men and women shared the same heritage, and where would be the fun in that? They enjoyed the luxuries of material wealth and the feeling of power they got by dominating the masses, so they manipulated Love’s messages in order to maintain their lofty positions.

    It was to the advantage of these early church fathers to elevate Jesus to the same level as the Father God who remained separate and inaccessible to the masses. They claimed that the Holy Spirit inspired the twelve disciples of Jesus to write the Apostles’ Creed; and with this assertion, the decree that Jesus is God’s only son was made infallible. After all, no one can argue with the Holy Spirit!

    In the fourth century A.D., the Roman Emperor Constantine issued an edict that granted religious tolerance of Christians throughout the empire. “How wonderful!” the angels probably cried. “If only Constantine understood that Christianity should be based on Jesus’ teachings about love, compassion, and forgiveness. Then his generous law would be a real gift to the world!”

    As a general, Constantine led thousands in bloody battles, and spread the Christian religion by brandishing the sword rather than following Jesus' commandment to preach and heal in his name. Constantine also collected from the far reaches of his empire to Nicaea, about 300 bishops who collaborated on a creed that was devised more from their combined heads than from their hearts. Like the Apostles’ Creed, the Nicene Creed says nothing about the life and teachings of Jesus, or his plea to the human race to show more love and mercy to one another.

    Jesus offered forgiveness to the woman that the Pharisees and teachers of the Hebrew law brought to him for judgment after catching her in the act of adultery. According to the ancient laws, she should have been stoned to death. But Jesus said to them: “Let any one of you who is without sin, be the first to throw a stone at her” (John 8:7b). Constantine was apparently not familiar with this verse because his laws required that any girl who ran away with her lover would be burned alive. Any chaperone that assisted in an elopement would have molten lead poured into her mouth.

     The angels would have reached out to Constantine’s soul, to make him feel the effects of this evil. If Constantine could experience the oneness between himself and others that Jesus had encouraged, he would have suffered the agony that was inflicted on his victims. But the barrier between his mind and his soul was so strong the angels could not penetrate it.

    Constantine was a harsh ruler in other areas of government, including the tax policy that required city dwellers to pay a tax in gold or silver every four years. Sometimes parents sold their children into slavery or prostitution to avoid the beatings or torture that tax evaders received. The angels just couldn’t believe that this emperor was largely responsible for a creed that would construct a cage around Christian belief, making heretics of anyone who did not accept it. Never-the-less, Constantine has been venerated as a saint by the Eastern Orthodox Church, and greatly revered by Roman Catholics. He is remembered for ending the persecution of Christians and for spreading Christianity throughout the Roman Empire.

    As their religious allegiance morphed from paganism into Christianity, the beneficiaries of dualism managed to keep themselves in lofty places by remaining separate from Love and Love’s creation. They wove heavy veils around their souls with the lies they told about Jesus and his teachings. Many Christians believed these lies, or feared the punishment of their rulers, and so they wove similar veils around their own souls, thus closing themselves off from any feelings of compassion they may have had for people who were different or less fortunate than they were.

The above is a chapter from my book, The World According to Love. And today, February 2, 2023, I add that the time has come for all of us in the middle and at the bottom of the pyramid to recognize our oneness, to love and respect one another, and expose the lies that the capstone has been using to keep us divided for thousands of years. Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with us NOW.

Everyone's Favorite Chair

                                         

    You are probably familiar with the terms, "everyday sacred" and "be here now." That is what the favorite chair is about. Many homes have a favorite chair - where the home dweller sits with a cup of coffee in the morning, to read a devotional and contemplate plans for the day. Then to sit with a cup of tea in the afternoon, to relax and focus on "being in the now." In the evening, with a glass of wine, to share our thoughts with a loved one - who wasn't so fortunate to get the favorite chair for our conversation! 

    Several years ago we replaced an old wing chair with this much more comfortable polka-dot recliner. I chose this upholstery because I was ready to add some pizazz to our old-fashioned country decor. It immediately became the favorite chair for everyone in the family and every visitor to our home. 

    Back when the chair was new, our daughter and her family lived with us for a few months while they were in transition. Our grandson, who is on the autism spectrum, was three years old at the time. He loved to sit in the polka-dot chair. When his other grandparents came to visit, his paternal grandfather sat in the recliner. Our nonverbal grandson took his grandfather by the hand and led him away from the chair. Grandpa thought that he was being taken to a place of interest, so he followed. But as soon as Grandpa had been led out of the living room our clever little boy ran back and climbed into the chair. 

    Of course we brought the favorite chair with us when we moved from New York to Wisconsin - to be closer to this clever little boy and his precious sister. I think of the chair as a sacred spot because it is so well-loved. Because Mark sits there every morning to transfer his deepest thoughts onto paper. Because I sit there to read the books that connect me to the inner world of spirit and imagination. Because it offers comfort and rest whenever we need it. 

    When you sit in your favorite chair, you can imagine people everywhere, relaxing in their chairs, too. Sometimes we can build bridges just by enjoying life's simple gifts the same way our world neighbors do.  

I would love it if my readers would post photos of their favorite chair!